I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
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Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
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I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
And then he peed in my hair
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