Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants