So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.