You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off