Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.

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  (773): before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident. http://tfl.nu/lgcs
  Replies (27) Good night (4943) Bad night (599)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table

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  (610): Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table http://tfl.nu/dmz2
  Replies (92) Good night (841) Bad night (4930) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.

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  (703): I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm. http://tfl.nu/zuvg
  Replies (20) Good night (4615) Bad night (905) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.

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  (612): I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look. http://tfl.nu/oye1
  Replies (9) Good night (2923) Bad night (689) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?

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  (519): I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen? http://tfl.nu/tjza
  Replies (20) Good night (5997) Bad night (854) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  oh but she would

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  (802): she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor (1-802): oh but she would http://tfl.nu/kme5
  Replies (3) Good night (1143) Bad night (597) Order T-Shirt
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.

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  (260): Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed. http://tfl.nu/ajvn
  Replies (5) Good night (2147) Bad night (571) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.

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  (701): Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why. http://tfl.nu/atie
  Replies (4) Good night (937) Bad night (331) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.

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  (949): Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame. http://tfl.nu/sj6o
  Replies (2) Good night (1081) Bad night (324) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.

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  (415): i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus. http://tfl.nu/s77k
  Replies (4) Good night (935) Bad night (338) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"

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  (415): I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!" http://tfl.nu/tw69
  Replies (1) Good night (799) Bad night (183) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?

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  (517): Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's? http://tfl.nu/t57e
  Replies (6) Good night (551) Bad night (185) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I want your cock.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd

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  (904): I want your cock. (910): All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd http://tfl.nu/l1ri
  Replies (11) Good night (649) Bad night (207)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm drunk at 3:28

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm jealous as shit at 3:34

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  (913): I'm drunk at 3:28 (816): I'm jealous as shit at 3:34 http://tfl.nu/umrv
  Replies (1) Good night (853) Bad night (122)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!

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  (715): It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful! http://tfl.nu/m6vl
  Replies (1) Good night (353) Bad night (91) Order T-Shirt

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