a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight