Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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