SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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