I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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