he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
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He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
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I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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