Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
