hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
apparently the secret to your success is patron
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
