Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Your penis caused this!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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