There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
