She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
