just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
