he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
