did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
