GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
