Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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