The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize