I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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