he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
