you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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