"it" just moved
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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