Will you blow on my dice?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
they need to just BURY HIM!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
