just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize