I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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