Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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