so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
