Sry I called you an 8
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Its about making memories worth repressing
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
