Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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