Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
