I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
