No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
