is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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