I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The air was thick with penises
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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