Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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