honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
