I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
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"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
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Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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