I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
