I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
