So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
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Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
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It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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