i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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