Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Randomize
