God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
