I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
