I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
