I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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