I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
