Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
