What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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