I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
