Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
