I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
