is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I can't trust your balls anymore.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
