Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
