oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
