do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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