Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
