you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
