if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
