this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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