This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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