i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂