Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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