Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.