HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.