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I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
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