dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird