there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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