I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
